Stage Fright Blues

Have you ever had a student curl up in a ball at the mention of the year-end recital? Well, you’re not alone!

Kids have big emotions, and don’t have the experience that adults do to know how to manage them. Just like us, kids get anxious, and the thought of getting on stage might feel like too much for their brains to handle. 

Offer a calm, supportive presence

As piano teachers, we take on many roles. There’s the obvious one — teaching students how to play the instrument. And then there are those we don’t give ourselves enough credit for — encouraging them, offering a safe space for them, and helping them cope with anxiety on stage and in lessons (let’s face it, your students are likely terrified to play in front of you!). Our job as teachers goes far beyond just teaching the instrument. If you can offer kids a calm presence and create an environment where they know they are both safe and valued, you just might be changing kids’ lives. 

Encourage them - a lot! 

Imagine your student comes into their lesson with a big smile on their face, excited to show you what they’ve worked on over the week. They sit down to play their song, and it takes them about 5 minutes to get through a short song. Now imagine you say to that student, “Wrong, do it again.” What do you think is going to happen to that happy, proud smile? Even if you’re frustrated by what you feel is a lack of progress, you need to take a step back and recognize the progress that is being made, even if it’s one tiny step. And then you need to praise them for it, over and over again. 

I’ll briefly share one of my success stories — for our Christmas recital last year, I got a group of students together to sing a few carols. One student expressed that they did not want to sing, before we had even had our first practice. While I am careful and compassionate toward my students’ feelings, I encouraged her to show up to the first practice and give it a try. Then, if she still felt too uncomfortable, she could drop out. She actually stayed, and got on stage and sang at the recital in her most festive dress! Sometimes kids need a little bit of a push, and inspiration from their teacher. 

Share your story 

You might get really good at coping with stage fright, but it never goes away. Think about an experience you had performing that left you feeling upset or embarrassed. Did everything fall apart? Did you refuse to play the piano ever again? Your students look up to you, and if they know that adults make mistakes too (and that it’s okay to make them), they will feel better about making them.

Let them know that mistakes are okay

Tell your students it’s okay to make mistakes, then tell them again. When I introduce my students to sight-reading, I always tell them that mistakes are okay and are actually encouraged. When I asked my 8-year-old student to sight-read a line of music at her lesson a couple of weeks ago, she said, “This is sight-reading, so it’s okay to make mistakes!” I was so proud of her for recognizing that yes, mistakes are okay — that’s how we learn! 

Have an incentive system

Just like adults, our students want to be rewarded for their progress! Be careful with this one — you don’t want to teach your students to expect rewards for everything they do. However, I am a big believer in stickers (they’re pretty and can be great motivators), and the prize box comes out once every month. Kids need to know that their progress is being noticed, and getting rewarded can make them feel excited and motivated!

Sharing vs performing 

Who wants to feel like the whole world is going to collapse if they play one wrong note at their piano recital? No one? Ok.

Let your students know that music is about self-expression, and that their experience with music is more important than a wrong note. If the audience sees that they are having fun and are enjoying what they’re doing, they will appreciate it. 

Building friendships 

At my studio, the students participate in group activities, such as singing, dancing, and playing music for one another. This helps them get to know one another, so that when the year-end recital comes around and they have to get on stage and play in front of each other, they feel much more comfortable, supported, and welcome. 

Help them prepare

Do whatever you can to help your kids prepare for their upcoming performance — the earlier, the better! Have them play their piece in front of their parents, friends, or even other students. Whenever my students have upcoming performances, I ask them to stand in front of a mirror once a day and say something kind to themselves, as if they were talking to a friend. The confidence you help your students build will go a long way. 

Pat yourself on the back 

Being a piano teacher is hard work! Be patient with yourself and know that you are contributing greatly to your students’ development, both musically and personally. Be that safe space for your students. I feel incredibly lucky to be a piano teacher, and to know so many wonderful students!